the truth about relationships.

And no, I'm not merely talking about romantic relationships, but human ones. Bonds we make and through which we get to know some of the best (or worst) people we've met. Now, this might get me sappy, eventually, but I will try my best not to let it get too much in my way.

1. The unconditional support

This relationship comes to me in the memory of my mother, but to you, it might be someone else. Unconditional love means accepting someone and, though not always agree with the choices they make, letting them experience and learn. This one is extremely hard to find, and I'm sure I had luck having the mother I had, but again, this might come in the shape of an old friend, your sibling, someone who will be there. No matter what.

2. You know me better than most.

That, for my actual life, is my boyfriend, my brother coming second best. These are the kinds of people that might make it hard for you to understand each other, but once you do, it is totally worth it. These people know what kinds of jokes you like, how to tell when you're sad, anxious, and they do everything in their power to help you out. Hell, they've both heard me sing All too well in the middle of the night for no reason, but they never complain.

3. Nice for a while.

These, in my experience, come from people that make you feel good about yourself for a moment, and then they might give up on trying anything with you. I've had my fair share of these, and though they're not here to stay, they teach you invaluable lessons on how to be, what to think, and amount to a great time with beautiful memories.

4. In emergencies.

Have you ever met a person that, no matter what's happening, you can call them and you just know they'll be right there? You might only talk for a bit, but when it comes down to it, you know you can count on them. I am aware of some of my friends and close acquaintances to be like that, and this is the type I like the most. They hear you out, they offer you their thoughts, and then they are there through it, if you call on them.

5. Secret admirers.

Have you ever met those people that, for one reason or another, don't get along with, but from the sidelines, they inspire you to be a bit bolder, a bit more confident? Yes? This is one I love, because it not only helps you improve yourself and to further your confidence, but you also learn a lot about them and yourselves, kind of like a mirrorball *cue in the Taylor Swift joke*. I have a couple of friends that do exactly that for me, though I seldom ever speak to them about hefty business.

Now, after naming all of those, I admit there might be more, but these are the ones that come to me most often. In my therapy hours, I've also learnt a lot on how to maintain healthy relationships, how to understand (but maybe not forget) certain actions, and overall, just taking better care of yourself. Let me share a few.

1. Your feelings are valid, but so are theirs.

Especially in romantic relationships, this is a MUST. You are the owner of your feelings, and they are not wrong or invalid. If they make the other person feel sad or upset, you can talk it out, but never believe that the fault is yours or theirs because, truly, all those feelings are human, and there's nothing wrong with it.

2. People show they care through different languages.

Everyone has a love language. While mine is listening, comfort, and time, people struggle sometimes with letting their feelings be known. This one is the one that is the hardest for me, because, let's be sincere, there might be times you don't want to be pampered, you just want to be heard, and it's easy to blame the other one for doing exactly the opposite. It's still nice and comforting to know this, though.

3. A relationship is as good as you want to make it.

People, if truly motivated, can change. Arguments might happen, but things will always be worked out as long as you both have priority on what really matters. If you are dating a totally opposite person, you might have to make sacrifices, but the love you have for the other will turn them to regular things you're willing to do to make the other happy. And I love that.

4. Relationships take time to develop.

Especially friendships. I would hate it if I rushed in to know someone and finding out we're just not right for each other. I am always wanting to make friends, but am scared of the hassle and commitment it takes to start brand-new. It is, truly, one step after the other, you just have to be patient if you really want to make it work.

5. Talk. It. Out.

Even if it is just one single stupid thing making you sad or upset or annoyed. Talking about it will smooth differences, calm that anxious head of yours, and let the other know what you do or don't need. I see no bad side for this. Personally, though, if you find that this person never listens to you, and you only get more hurt if you try, talk to someone else about it. Let it out, be heard. Therapy is also great for this, in my opinion.

So, there we go. I am by no means an expert, but these tips have helped me be a bit more intuitive and bold when approaching the landmine that relationships can turn out to be. It's all about valuing yourself AND others, so no one outweighs the other. Everything can work out from there.

Hope you enjoyed. Thank you so much for reading.

-goldenmel